2.  If "Ohio" can't be started after 10 tries, it must not be re-attempted for a period of 28 days.

3.  Don't listen to Rick.

4.  "Feelin' Alright" MUST be played at every gig.

5.  The band is not allowed to practice two weeks immediately following a gig, unless the planet Mars is aligned with the Les Paul constellation

6.  Various instrument "noodling" must not exceed 15 minutes (5 minutes for drummers).
    Amendment 6a.  As voted upon by the Board of Elders, noodling must not exceed 5 minutes.
    Drummers get 15 seconds.

7.  Spike must break at least one string per gig.

8.  If various items in Spikes house move more than one foot during practice, the bass player must turn down the volume on his amp from 11 to 8.

9.  Audience participation is greatly encouraged, as long as they are fully clothed.

10.  There is a limit of two slow depressing songs per practice.  See rule # 3.

11.  No negative self talk.

12.  We will only gig out at the BEST gin mills. Uh... okay, second best too.

13.  The band must put the same desire and determination into playing each song, as spunky puts into shining his stones.

14.   3/5's of the band, must agree to play a said song, unless a single note double time bass drone is required. If such is the case, the bass player may invoke the little known override clause, as defined in the fabled "Gene Simmons vs the State of Montana" case.

15.   We shall break the "Mort's Curse". Moriarty's curse and other stuff

16.   On the 25th anniversary of the Cheeze Band's formation, the band will be presented with four brand new pieces of string to hang the "Cheeze Banner".

17.   If Spike is two hours late for a gig, we can assume he has been crushed by the "Voice of the Theaters".  He shall be released.

18.   WPLR is the official radio station of The Cheeze Band, 'cause Ricky said so.

19.   On Gigs - We only get paid to move our gear, we play for free.

20.   The Musical Zone - Although much strived for, the Zone cannot be forced; let the Zone come to you.  Listen to Master Yoda, don't make me open my big can of Whoop-ass!

21.   Ricky must do ALL count ins. They cannot remotely approach the actual tempo (or any tempo for that matter) of the next selection. The other members of the band must quickly do the math AND guess which song we are about to play. This generally makes for an intro that sounds curiously like a simulation of 4-5 8 tracks playing different songs.

22.  Verbal "noodling" must not exceed 20 seconds during practice.  Rhythm section, this means you!

23.  Mike must go on vacation at least the second week before a gig.  Therefore confirming the rule that we must miss at least two practices, two weeks before, up to but not after the week prior to said gig.  If this cannot be accomplished, then it is hereby stated that at least one band member shall call off rehearsals due to sickness, personal reasons, or both.   Uhhhh, okay Ricky, whatever you say.